-Welcome to Nightvale
fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck
WHY Do we think dean will be himself. He’s a demon.. hes probably gonna be chasing sam around the bunker with a hammer.
guys, i found it. i hella predicted this.
YOU ARE OUR NEW PROPHET
-We want the same thing
-I’m sorry, my friend, but we do not
Are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, Shakespeare wouldn’t tweet a sonnet cause 140 characters is a bit short for that. Wrong medium. But you know what he would have? A very active twitter FULL OF DICK PUNS AND YOUR MOM JOKES okay. (And probably also a blog for the sonnets and longer works, that cross-posts links to twitter anyway.)
Get out of here with that pretentious anti-technology bullshit.
He’d rock the fuck out of memes. Don’t deny it.
Exit, pursued by a doge.
much run wow
but can bob the builder fix yo nasty ass attitude
ten in glasses appreciation post
not my family bitch
why am i crying
I laughed for 3 million years..
if u fuckin ur girl and she says:
- NEE HOY MINOY
- order up
- MY LEG!
- I’M READY I’M READY I’M READY
- STOMP ON YOUR RIGHT FOOT DON’T FORGET IT
- BALD BALD BALD BALD BALD
- i can’t see my forehead
- THE KRUSTY KRAAAAAAAAAAB PIZZAAAAAA IS THE PIZZA YEAAH FOR YOU AND MEEEEE
u know u doin it right
i don’t care if you think it’s “improper first date attire” this suit of armor is enchanted and i’m wearing it
all 46 excuses on my friends wall,
1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow
2. we can’t all be usain bolt
3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”
4. i had pe first period do you blame me
5. i really, really didn’t want to sing
6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates
7. you can’t tell me how to live my life
9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic
10. there was a freak yachting accident
11. i am a fucking retard
12. this is just for my wall
13. do you even read these
14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop”
15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction
16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight
17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win
18. traffic jammy jammy jam
19. how can i go to school when alex turner
20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her
21. i was sticking it to the man
22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity
23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued
24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset
25. my meth lab caught fire
26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be
27. i was sad
28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely
29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”
30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth
31. 2 kool 4 scool
32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen
33. i tried
34. i’m sorry i’m late
it’s not my fault
my auntie was killed
and i joined a cult
35. a haiku about lateness:
late late late late late
late late late late late late late
late late late late late
36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking
37. i was fashionably late
38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg
39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me
45. i was fighting al qaeda
YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN
Wonder Woman is Worthy.
Fun Fact: In the Marvel vs DC crossover it was established that Wonder Woman is in fact Worthy of wielding the hammer of Thor.
And then she put it down, because she thought it would be unworthy of her to take advantage of its power.
Wonder Woman’s standards are higher than Mjolnir’s.
IF THE HAMMER THINKS SHES WORTHY WHY DONT THE MARKETING EXECS
marketing execs are dumber than hammers, apparently